OBLIGATION: LOVE or FEAR?
Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.
Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you remember the flurry of excitement at the holidays when you were just a child? There is something special in the air at this time of year.
Unless, of course, you find yourself getting stressed out for any number of reasons: extra long hours at work, not enough money to cover your holiday expenses, illness, family get togethers ...
Although many are quick to defend “obligation” as a loved-based attitude and/or action, it is actually based on fear.
To demonstrate this claim, take a look at this list of common fears, which often lead to obligation. How many do you identify with (from mild to strong)?
I am afraid of:
- Losing my family member's approval
- Getting my family member angry with me
- Getting the “silent treatment”
- My family member getting into danger or legal trouble
- My family member self-harming or attempting suicide
- My family member getting depressed
- Being thought of as “selfish”
- Taking responsibility
- Being found out
- Being a bad son/daughter/parent
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of retaliation
- People thinking that I’m a bad person
- Loss of love/friendship/companionship
- Losing contact with or custody of my children
- Being alone or living by myself
- Being called names or being embarrassed in public
- Being threatened
- Becoming depressed
- Failing to live up to expectations
- Getting angry
- Losing control
“When our sense of obligation is stronger than our sense of self-respect and self-caring, blackmailers quickly learn how to take advantage”
- Forward and Frazier, 1997
SETTING BOUNDARIES: A HEALTHY OPPORTUNITY
Frankly, the only obligation that feels right to me is the one to Self. Taking care of and loving our Self is vital. Setting emotional boundaries is of the utmost importance and eliminates being taken advantage of.
The quickest way to establish boundaries is to be consistent. Mean what you say!
Remember, in order to be used, we must allow it (albeit, at the subconscious level). It may not feel like a choice, but I assure you, it is!
Wishing you the happiest of holiday season, complete with LOVE!
Healer, Intuitive Profiler, Psychic-Medium, Mentor, Speaker and Writer, I am available for private sessions by appointment only. Through Intuitive Profiling, I identify and cut unhealthy energetic cords. Releasing these negative energetic connections allows you to function at a higher vibrational frequency.
I also perform Energetic Space Clearing for business (staff profiles included) or home.
619-573-5927 ~ firstname.lastname@example.org