Wednesday, January 23, 2013

THE GOODNESS IN MEN



"A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."
- St. Basil


2012 was a year of receiving ‘proof’ I'd long-since yearned.  For several years I’d been quietly, and sometimes not-so-quietly, looking for the goodness in men.  This might sound trite, but I assure you, it was very important to me.

Natural Goodness
You see, I was raised in an alcoholic home by an abusive father and mentally ill mother. It was never easy and rarely did I feel safe. My father’s ill temper was always at its worst after a night of drinking.  I did not get to see his ‘good’ side. 

I was in my 40’s before I made some peace with my dad.  I wanted to look beyond his earthy self to see the soul-goodness he possessed. I am grateful that I found that in him, even if it was 25 years after his death.

Several years later, I began to desire to see the goodness of men in relationships and in everyday life.  Because of my destructive early imprinting (and the energetic cords that it created) I had a tendency to attract men who, while not nearly as wounded as my dad, were still a long way from what I dreamed of.  I had to admit to myself that these men represented a barometer reading of what was still swirling around in my emotional body.  I began to realize that I might never find myself until I faced the truth about my beliefs about men.

Fast forward:  the year is 2012.  By then, I’d done an extreme amount of personal emotional and energetic work upon my Self.  I was still searching for evidence of the fruit of my labor when I met three extraordinary men.

The first young man is Dr. Oscar Manuel Solorio, Jr., a dentist in Tijuana, Mexico.  Upon a personal referral I visited Dr. Oscar Manuel to have a crown replaced.  He shares an office with his mother and father, both long-time dentists.  The energy in his office is lovely, laid-back and always welcoming.

Not only did Dr. Oscar Manuel do an excellent job on my crown (plus other dental care, as well) but he did it with kindness, respect and compassion.  I received a hug each time I arrive, and also when I left his office.  This type of warmness is often absent in the medical arena, so I especially appreciated the gentleness in which I was treated.  His fee was reasonable and manageable and he never charged me for small extras. 

The second very special young man I had the privilege to meet is Ayham R. Skaf M.D., a Vitreoretinal Surgeon and Board Certified Ophthalmologist.  In mid-2012, I developed a macular hole (hole in my retina) and received a specialist referral.

Dr. Skaf was upbeat, very positive, and like Dr. Oscar Manuel, kind, compassionate and gentle.  Here, I was also greeted with a warm hug, as well as another when I left the office.  Dr. Skaf made a frightening, expensive procedure doable and successful.  His high vibration and light fills the office in a way that was not apparent before his arrival.  

The third man will remain nameless, as the nature of our relationship is personal and private.  However, I will share this with you:  this kind and gentle man is open, curious and very creative.  He is interested in the world of spirit and is supportive of my life work, recognizing the humanity in my efforts.  He is generous and caring and really likes my cats (a huge plus)!  

Having said all of this, the most amazing thing about this man is the way he invites me to communicate my truest nature.  This is critical due to my life-long challenge of full expression.  Raised southern, it was imprinted upon me that a woman should be what the man wants her to be, even if that meant sacrificing her authentic Self.  I’ve done a lot of that…too much of that!  

Times are changing; I am changing.  Who I am is more aware, more accountable and more honest than ever before.  Likewise, so are the beautiful and good men that I have been fortunate enough to magnetize into my life.

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