WANNA BE RIGHT OR HAPPY?

These days my confidence comes not from being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.  

Know Thyself

But it wasn't always this way.  Looking back, I  see that many of the debates and arguments in which I participated revolved around wanting to be right.  There was an urgency coming from deep within, a powerful push to come out on top. 

This wasn't about winning and certainly not about thinking that I was more intelligent than my “opponent”.  No, it was something much deeper; so deep in fact, I wasn't even aware it existed.  When it reared its ugly head, I had to instantly and robotically become one with it so as to be able to continue the charade.  I didn't know it was a sham, mind you, but it was just that.

That thing so deep within, well that was FEAR.  Growing up in a war zone mandated the appearance of assurance.  It wasn't safe to be seen as wrong or weak.  So, I bucked up, pushed out my lower lip and stood strong.  As strong as a little girl can stand, that is.  I was a great little actress but that didn't win me any awards.

The Most Important Relationship is with Yourself

Not fearing to be wrong was a result of a great deal of trial and error.  Eventually I found that falling, then getting up and falling again and getting up again indeed make me strong.  I learned that making a mistake is not equal to death.  Owning my missteps makes me more powerful and confident. 

Ultimately, it’s about loving me.  I didn't yell at my young son when he made a “boo-boo” because I understood he was learning something new.  Ah; I get it. I now feel the same way toward myself.  I’m always learning something new and hope to continue until I draw my very last breath. There will be many more ups and downs, but each journey into the valley and up to the peak is precious to me.

Peace accompanies not having to be right.  The more I let go of being right, the more RIGHT I become.  Go figure…!