Rabi David Wolpe’s article, TIME TO FORGIVE THE TSARNAEV BROTHERS? NOT SO FAST. appeared in The Washington Post today. In part, he said,
“Forgiveness is irrelevant if it is only words. “I
forgive him in my heart” means little. To watch something unfold on TV and then
declare your forgiveness for the perpetrator is a cheap and empty declaration.”
I wholeheartedly agree. I do not believe in the traditional meaning
of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not possible to achieve in the way that most
define it. If we are told to forgive and can't find it within our heart, are we
then a sinner? I say NO.
If, however, we look for the reason why we have experienced
such an event, we might just glean a deeper understanding of our own self,
including and especially our fear.
To say we forgive, yet to act in a manner completely opposite
of that is inauthentic. Yet, we are driven by church, morals and family
upbringing to aspire to such forgiveness.
Regularly I send gratitude out into the world for what I may
have learned about myself through having the experience, even and particularly
in the most trying of circumstances. I seek balance with the Universe as I seek
to understand without judgment.
Offering gratitude when I am hurting is not easy, but neither
is saying "I forgive" when I don't really mean it or feel it.
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I agree with the words, "Forgiveness is irrelevant if it is only words." From my perspective, forgiveness is not a single act, nor is it a word uttered from conscience reflection. Forgiveness is a thoughtful, extended reflection which one compares self, the act of forgiveness, and the effect of having reached the decision. Forgiveness is a very complex action requiring time and reflection.
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