Friday, May 3, 2013

NEVERLAND: ADVENTURES IN ON-LINE DATING


What's Your Experience?


In my long-going quest for clarity, I have become a student of human nature, most particularly men.

As a single woman, I finally turned to on-line dating.  Friends tried it long before me and encouraged me to give it a go.  Maybe I would meet some nice guys, and perhaps even someone with whom I would spend time.

As time goes by, I find myself formulating a concept that I consider the epitome of the on-line dating experience.  If you’re still reading, get ready, ‘cause it ain’t pretty.

My first impression is that choosing someone to date online feels like looking through a catalog, where it’s not only easy, but often free to fantasize about all the beautiful things I want.  I might dog-ear any page that offers a potential treasure, yet I’m not actually making a commitment just yet.  I’ll keep looking, and looking, and yes, looking.

When we peruse the internet for the “ideal” mate, it’s really only a two-dimensional version of that person.  It’s anything but organic.  We see great photos (how old is THAT photo?) and read grandiose prose about the life and times of a particular person.  We mark them as a “favorite” and keep looking.  And, on it goes until we decide to actual contact someone, or someone reaches out to us.

Have You Ever Lied on an Online Sating Profile?
There are two basic types of men I have encountered through on-line dating thus far.  Let’s look at it using my Truth Tests via the coffee date/first meeting.  Here’s where it can get dicey. 

Truth test #1:  Does this man represent himself accurately?


Does this person look like their photo, have the same dimensions as represented, and is he approximately the same age as professed?   Very often, the answer is simply NO.  Red flag, wouldn't you say?  I call this, I’m Desperate and I Know It Man.

Floors me how people so blatantly misrepresent themselves.  I often wonder if they think no one will notice…

Truth test #2:   Has this man met himself?


There’s another kind of man, of which I am seeing more of lately.  He’s the Unaware Man.  This man really believes his own glorified press release.  He fancies himself tall, handsome, athletic and spiritual.  Oh, and he longs to be in a long-term, committed relationship.  Uh huh.

Of course, none of this rings true once I meet him, but I can tell he is committed to his story and is surprised when I’m not interested.  Sad, really.

The most resounding theme I've noticed is that most of the on-line crew of men seems to be carrying a sundry of unresolved issues and wounds from past relationships.  How do I know this (other than be exceedingly psychic), you ask?  Easy. 

When a man brings up his ex over and over again, he is NOT ready to enter a new relationship…period.  He has work to do.  I have heard men say that the quickest way to get over an ex is to get under someone new.  Crass, but I suppose many feel this is more exciting than doing inner work.  But, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the same old pattern reemerges.  It always does.  For some it’s like buying time, prolonging the inevitable Come to Jesus Meeting with their own self.

By the way, I don’t believe for one moment that my observations apply solely to men.  This just happens to be my personal experience.  It’s time we all start looking at ourselves truthfully. 

There’s no shame in having a past.  It’s unnecessary, however, to continue to drag that baggage around and project it onto someone new. 

Take a peek inside.  There will be shadows, and there will be gems.  Upon which one will we choose to focus?
_____________________________________________________

Healer, Intuitive Profiler, Psychic-Medium, Mentor, Speaker and Writer, I am available for private sessions by appointment only. Through Intuitive Profiling, I identify and cut unhealthy energetic cords. Releasing these negative energetic connections allows you to function at a higher vibrational frequency.

I also perform Energetic Space Clearing for business (staff profiles included) or home.

619-573-5927 ~ soulsync@cox.net

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