NEVERLAND: ADVENTURES IN ON-LINE DATING

What's Your Experience?

In my long-going quest for clarity, I have become a student of human nature, most particularly men.

As a single woman, I finally turned to on-line dating.  Friends tried it long before me and encouraged me to give it a go.  Maybe I would meet some nice guys, and perhaps even someone with whom I would spend time.

As time goes by, I find myself formulating a concept that I consider the epitome of the on-line dating experience.  If you’re still reading, get ready, ‘cause it ain’t pretty.

My first impression is that choosing someone to date online feels like looking through a catalog, where it’s not only easy, but often free to fantasize about all the beautiful things I want.  I might dog-ear any page that offers a potential treasure, yet I’m not actually making a commitment just yet.  I’ll keep looking, and looking, and yes, looking.

When we peruse the internet for the “ideal” mate, it’s really only a two-dimensional version of that person.  It’s anything but organic.  We see great photos (how old is THAT photo?) and read grandiose prose about the life and times of a particular person.  We mark them as a “favorite” and keep looking.  And, on it goes until we decide to actual contact someone, or someone reaches out to us.

Have You Ever Lied on an Online Sating Profile?

There are two basic types of men I have encountered through on-line dating thus far.  Let’s look at it using my Truth Tests via the coffee date/first meeting.  Here’s where it can get dicey. 

Truth test #1:  Does this man represent himself accurately?

Does this person look like their photo, have the same dimensions as represented, and is he approximately the same age as professed?   Very often, the answer is simply NO.  Red flag, wouldn't you say?  I call this, I’m Desperate and I Know It Man.

Floors me how people so blatantly misrepresent themselves.  I often wonder if they think no one will notice…

Truth test #2:   Has this man met himself?

There’s another kind of man, of which I am seeing more of lately.  He’s the Unaware Man.  This man really believes his own glorified press release.  He fancies himself tall, handsome, athletic and spiritual.  Oh, and he longs to be in a long-term, committed relationship.  Uh huh.

Of course, none of this rings true once I meet him, but I can tell he is committed to his story and is surprised when I’m not interested.  Sad, really.

The most resounding theme I've noticed is that most of the on-line crew of men seems to be carrying a sundry of unresolved issues and wounds from past relationships.  How do I know this (other than be exceedingly psychic), you ask?  Easy. 

When a man brings up his ex over and over again, he is NOT ready to enter a new relationship…period.  He has work to do.  I have heard men say that the quickest way to get over an ex is to get under someone new.  Crass, but I suppose many feel this is more exciting than doing inner work.  But, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the same old pattern reemerges.  It always does.  For some it’s like buying time, prolonging the inevitable Come to Jesus Meeting with their own self.

By the way, I don’t believe for one moment that my observations apply solely to men.  This just happens to be my personal experience.  It’s time we all start looking at ourselves truthfully. 

There’s no shame in having a past.  It’s unnecessary, however, to continue to drag that baggage around and project it onto someone new. 

Take a peek inside.  There will be shadows, and there will be gems.  Upon which one will we choose to focus?

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Healer, Intuitive Profiler, Psychic-Medium, Mentor, Speaker and Writer, I am available for private sessions by appointment only. Through Intuitive Profiling, I identify and cut unhealthy energetic cords. Releasing these negative energetic connections allows you to function at a higher vibrational frequency.

I also perform Energetic Space Clearing for business (staff profiles included) or home.

619-573-5927 ~ soulsync@cox.net

Shift Happens!

THE GOODNESS IN MEN

"A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love."

- St. Basil

2012 was a year of receiving ‘proof’ I'd long-since yearned.  For several years I’d been quietly, and sometimes not-so-quietly, looking for the goodness in men.  This might sound trite, but I assure you, it was very important to me.

Natural Goodness

You see, I was raised in an alcoholic home by an abusive father and mentally ill mother. It was never easy and rarely did I feel safe. My father’s ill temper was always at its worst after a night of drinking.  I did not get to see his ‘good’ side. 

I was in my 40’s before I made some peace with my dad.  I wanted to look beyond his earthy self to see the soul-goodness he possessed. I am grateful that I found that in him, even if it was 25 years after his death.

Several years later, I began to desire to see the goodness of men in relationships and in everyday life.  Because of my destructive early imprinting (and the energetic cords that it created) I had a tendency to attract men who, while not nearly as wounded as my dad, were still a long way from what I dreamed of.  I had to admit to myself that these men represented a barometer reading of what was still swirling around in my emotional body.  I began to realize that I might never find myself until I faced the truth about my beliefs about men.

Fast forward:  the year is 2012.  By then, I’d done an extreme amount of personal emotional and energetic work upon my Self.  I was still searching for evidence of the fruit of my labor when I met three extraordinary men.

The first young man is Dr. Oscar Manuel Solorio, Jr., a dentist in Tijuana, Mexico.  Upon a personal referral I visited Dr. Oscar Manuel to have a crown replaced.  He shares an office with his mother and father, both long-time dentists.  The energy in his office is lovely, laid-back and always welcoming.

Not only did Dr. Oscar Manuel do an excellent job on my crown (plus other dental care, as well) but he did it with kindness, respect and compassion.  I received a hug each time I arrive, and also when I left his office.  This type of warmness is often absent in the medical arena, so I especially appreciated the gentleness in which I was treated.  His fee was reasonable and manageable and he never charged me for small extras. 

The second very special young man I had the privilege to meet is Ayham R. Skaf M.D., a Vitreoretinal Surgeon and Board Certified Ophthalmologist.  In mid-2012, I developed a macular hole (hole in my retina) and received a specialist referral.

Dr. Skaf was upbeat, very positive, and like Dr. Oscar Manuel, kind, compassionate and gentle.  Here, I was also greeted with a warm hug, as well as another when I left the office.  Dr. Skaf made a frightening, expensive procedure doable and successful.  His high vibration and light fills the office in a way that was not apparent before his arrival.  

The third man will remain nameless, as the nature of our relationship is personal and private.  However, I will share this with you:  this kind and gentle man is open, curious and very creative.  He is interested in the world of spirit and is supportive of my life work, recognizing the humanity in my efforts.  He is generous and caring and really likes my cats (a huge plus)!  

Having said all of this, the most amazing thing about this man is the way he invites me to communicate my truest nature.  This is critical due to my life-long challenge of full expression.  Raised southern, it was imprinted upon me that a woman should be what the man wants her to be, even if that meant sacrificing her authentic Self.  I’ve done a lot of that…too much of that!  

Times are changing; I am changing.  Who I am is more aware, more accountable and more honest than ever before.  Likewise, so are the beautiful and good men that I have been fortunate enough to magnetize into my life.

Photo by David Troyan Photography